the writer is a lonely hunter

The manuscript of my latest novel is almost ready for submitting to agents and publishers. I was in the same position two years ago and it took ten months to secure a deal. I’m going to use the same approach as before. I’ve compiled a list of where to send the manuscript and will work through it by sending out submissions in batches. In the last few weeks, I’ve been polishing the opening chapters and was keen to look back to see how the first paragraph had changed during the latest revisions. The essence remains the same but little tweaks have meant the writing is tighter. Here are the paragraphs for you to compare:

July 2023, Slingback Resort

Moonlight slid through the full-length windows and illuminated the trail of their abandoned clothes across the hotel bedroom floor. Night came early in the southern hemisphere and Ashley anticipated the rest of their evening. She wanted to enjoy drinks on the terrace but it wasn’t the right time to suggest the idea. Instead, she straightened the pillow in its white cotton case and rested against it. The air conditioning pumped cool waves across their naked bodies and she longed to share the warmth emanating from James’s skin. Inhaling the briny smell of sex and sweat, Ashley moved closer and placed her head into the nook between his chin and shoulder. A sigh made her slump closer.

November 2023, Three Couples

Moonlight slunk into the hotel room and Ashley noticed how it illuminated the trail of abandoned clothes across the marble floor. James had cracked her open like a nut. She stretched on top of rucked cotton sheets until a tap on her shoulder registered. His index finger commanded that she tuck her head into the nook between his shoulder and chin. She settled into place there, and found the musky smell of him soothing. James sighed as the tension he carried evaporated. It was the same for her. She enjoyed a momentary sense of relaxation but then heat from his body pulsed and she was glad of cool bursts from the air conditioning unit.